Inside Out by Demi Moore

Author:Demi Moore
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
Publisher: HarperCollins
Published: 2019-08-18T16:00:00+00:00

MY PROFESSIONAL LIFE was soaring. My personal life was painful. Right before Rumer’s second birthday, Bruce was getting ready to go do a film that was shooting in Europe, Hudson Hawk. There was a lot of buzz around it: it had a huge budget; Bruce had worked on the story and cowritten some of the songs, and he had a lot riding on the film. Just before he left, he dropped a bombshell: “I don’t know if I want to be married.”

I felt like I had been sucker punched. “Well, you are married, and you have a kid,” I pointed out. “So what do you want to do?”

Bruce and I had met, married, had a baby, and just done a lot, very quickly—it was as if he woke up a few years later and thought, Whoa, is this what I want? Or do I really want to be free? I think that as a true Pisces, he was struggling to resolve a conflict within himself: he wanted family and grounding, but he also craved excitement and novelty. Basically, he wanted to do whatever the fuck he wanted. Not so unusual in men that age—he was thirty-six at the time—and throw in celebrity and money? You do the math.

The strong, tough part of me thought, If this isn’t 100 percent what you want, then you should get out. I need a husband who I don’t have to convince to be in this marriage. But Bruce didn’t want to be the guy who walked out on his family, who did that to his kid. Even though I was terrified and finding it difficult to wrap my head around the enormity of what was happening, I kept saying over and over, “Then go.” But he couldn’t quite commit to that any more than he could fully commit to me. When he left to do Hudson Hawk, things were in a very precarious state. I went over to visit once, and, frankly, I had the feeling that he had screwed around. It was tense and it was weird and there was just stuff that didn’t seem kosher.

I was wrestling with a sense of rejection and uncertainty I just couldn’t shake when I was offered a movie called The Butcher’s Wife. I shouldn’t have done that film, but for reasons that had nothing to do with Bruce. My agent at the time talked me into doing The Butcher’s Wife for the money, to get my price up. I’ve never done a movie just for money again. It was never how I’d worked, and it was a disaster of an experience that I didn’t want to repeat. I didn’t feel confident going into it, I didn’t feel confident while I was there, and I didn’t trust the director. The movie rested on me, but I didn’t have half the experience of the other actors, Jeff Daniels, Frances McDormand, and Mary Steenburgen. I was intimidated, and I didn’t have the confidence to ask them for help. Instead, I assumed that everyone was judging me to be a fraud, and that I was letting them down.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.